Applebee's

The Jackson (motherfucking) Five

A little thing that you might not know about me, I LOVE random shots.  In random places.  So, one evening Becca and myself were driving to my house to hang out and Applebee's caught my peripheral eye.  Me: Hey, wanna stop at Applebee's and do a random shot?  Becca:  Hell yes, I do.  We go in and sit at the bar.  We tell the bartender we'd like to do a shot.  "Fruity or strong?"  Duh.  What we ended up with was both fruity, and strong.  Win!  She gave us a Johnny Vegas shot (this is NOT the drink I am reviewing, but still part of the story) which is Cuervo Gold, Raspberry Pucker, and Red Bull.  It was pretty tasty.  Some dudes that were sitting next to us said "If you want something really strong you should order the Four Hoursemen."  "Or the Jackson Five", the bartender chimed in.  Of course we were interested and decided to come back for last call and get this "Jackson Five". 

We roll back in for last call and order up 2 Jackson Fives.  Some dude asks the bartender "Who the hell ordered that?"  She motioned to us and he just shook his head.  She instructed us to not vomit on her bar.  Ha!  The Jackson Five:  Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker Blue, and Jager.  Whoa, right?  This shot only costs $4.  Wtf.  It tastes like Band-Aids, but isn't as terrible as I imagined it would be.  We have gone back a few times for random Jackson Five shots and once she (a different bartender) used Jameson instead of Johnny Walker.  It was a little less Band-Aidy, but still very similar.

Alright!

5 out of Jackson 5

p.s. Consumption of this shot is likely to result in this:

California Pizza Kitchen

Long Island Iced Tea

Yep, CPK.  In the mall right across from Hot Topic, no less.  If you have to go to the mall you might as well have a place to get a stiff drink.  CPK don't fuck around, there is no bottom shelf booze here.  There's barely mid-grade booze.  I guess a Long Island is a Long Island, but I'm gonna give this little darling a 5 out of 5 for being in the mall.  AND in a nice fancy glass.  LOOK AT THAT GARNISH!  I live for a touch of class...in CPK.

Wet Willies

Call a Cab

Wet Willies is a place we discovered in San Diego.  They serve slushies made with Everclear.  The drink is called "Call a Cab".  They're not all made with Everclear, some are more appealing to the average drinker.  They even have some with no booze at all!  The texture of this "slushie" was very odd and delightfully pleasing to my tongue.  All in all, it was an amazing drink.  Only drawback being brain freeze and severe drunkenness (not necessarily a bad thing).  Two thumbs up!

Good Time Charlie's

TMNT Shooters!

Oh yes, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shooter set.  One shot for each turtle, and depending on who the bartender is you might even get a Splinter shot!  In order as pictured:  Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michaelangelo.  You know what the best part is?!  They actually taste different!  Cheers to you, Good Time Charlie's.  I recommend an entire set per person, but for the beginner...go ahead and split one with your pals.

Uptown Coney Island

Budweiser

A classic, refreshing, beer at my favorite place to get beer with breakfast!  Just kidding, I had lunch.

The Porchard

Pop, Lock, and Clock it.

 

We've all made bad decisions, right?  The scene:  Jeremy Wheeler's birthday party.  The drink:  Gridlock Energy Drink and Five O'Clock vodka (shiver).  Alternate chugs of each and voila!  You're drunk!  

Sick.

Don't try it.  It is funny, though.

Seva

Harvey Wallbanger

On a, not so recent, browsing session of "Classic Cocktails for Men" I became obsessed with the idea of a Harvey Wallbanger.  Why?  I don't really know.  It reeks of 1950's men's clubs and class, which is odd because it tastes preeeeeeetty much like a girly drink.  It's totally delicious.  Vodka, orange juice, and Galliano.  Galliano has a sweet anise flavor and somehow works really well with the oj, ramping it up from just being a screwdriver.  Seva really delivered with the fresh squeezed juice, top notch!  The hard part about being really cool and enjoying a Harvey Wallbanger is that not very many places stock Galliano and you seem like an asshole ordering it.  A lot of bartenders don't even know what it is.  Their loss!

A smidge of history!

5 out of 5 juicy oranges.

Goodnight Gracie

The worst, overpriced martini I've ever had. This is supposed to be a martini bar. Tragic. The olives were awful. They tasted like freezer burn. This review deserves no photo.